Damn Love

The circumstances make me so mad

That I should love you

That you should push me away

The lack of trust is hurtful

When you are my world

I am on the sidelines of yours

Looking in, wishing you trusted me

Like you trust him; like you love him

He's the focus of my envy; my jealousy

That he receives your love while I don't

It consumes me; like a raging fire 

Sucking out the air; the life inside me

Not able to see past it; I sit here in desolation

Wishing for your love, I will never receive

Longing for your heart, I will never get

First On the Dance Floor

Who wants to be first on the dance floor
I see it's empty when I walk through the door
Waiting for the party to get jumping
Someone start dancing; do something
Dancing now with all my might
Don't know how; what a sight
Just on the floor doing my thing
Don't dress up; wear no bling
Bopping my head to the tune
Not a free seat in the room
Come dance everyone
Let's have some fun
Just relax and let our worries go
Drink lots, dance fast, let go
It's getting crazy; no one now allowed in the door
Just shaking to the tune; out on the floor

My Star

You are still shy around me
Sometimes you don't want to talk with me
You have an amazing heart
I swear I will never tear it apart
You study more than talk to me
I understand why that must be
You have secrets kept locked in your heart
That's ok, my dear; we both had different starts
Your life was much harder than me
Yet you are a better person; stronger than me
You amaze me everyday my love
Yet there are other people you love
More deeply than I
I understand my dear, I say with a sigh
For I fell for the person you are
I will always love you; whether near for far
So keep being the person you are
I love you more than life; you are my star

Why Did This Happen

I don't understand how I can feel so
How I can love you so much
How I can think of you as such
You are so amazing to me
Why is this so; how can it be
You are the sun that warms my day
The soothing voice that takes the pain away
You light my world with your smile
I long to see you; if only for awhile
You make me crazy; the amount of love
I feel for you; all the stars above
Cannot compare to your beauty to me
I want to be closer; yet it cannot be
To be the friend that you hold dear
To learn all your happiness; every tear
You cannot imagine how much you mean to me
I love you more than anything; can't you see
I love you my dear; you're in my heart
That's why missing you is tearing me apart

Miss You

I miss here so much
Seeing her brings laughter to my eyes
She's a stunning beauty yet what matters most
Is inside her heart; compassion flows
Listening to all my cries
Drying the tears in my eyes
Just to think of her brings a smile to my face
So amazing; full of grace
In the way she walks; the way she talks
Her voice is like crystals; flows across the room
Lovely in every single way
This my dear, let me say
I love you through it all
Sometimes we fight; that's not all
There's love above all; holding you to me
So just look into my eyes and you will see
You're the best; forget the rest
For you are the friend I need
Even if my words are full  of greed
I want to see you my dear
To be able to whisper in your ear
That you mean the world to me
That's just how it is; that's what it will be
So know my love, forever and for always
I will always be here for you
Until the end of my days

Bad Luck

I have bad luck, or so it seems
What had happened I never would've dreamed
Ordeal after ordeal, I can't get any rest
I don't know what to do; what is best
I'm sick of dealing with all this stress
It's causing troubles in my chest
Sleeping is a thing of the past
All this bad luck; I pray it doesn't last
I just feel like moving away
Will that help; I really can't say
I go to a better place every night in my dream
I don't understand all this chaos; what does it mean
Why are all these things happening to me
What is wrong with my life; what is wrong with me?

Silent Tears

Sitting here today
The tears run down my face
Yet I am quiet
Not making a sound; I go through the day
Nobody knows; I'm hurting so much
Inside, I'm falling to pieces
Over the struggle with the love
The love that entered my life when I met you
The feelings I have for you; not returned
It kills me everyday; yet I don't cry
Don't make a sound; I must stay hidden
I've told you how I feel; explained my love
It wouldn't be fair to keep pressing
I would never want to hurt you
To force you to break our ties
Simply cause I love you too much
So I will smile; go through the day
You will think I'm happy; nothing to fear
Yet everyday, I will be crying silent tears

Learning About Me

I learnt about myself today
I need to talk to you; to say
I love you with all my heart
I can't bear when we're apart
For you always make me smile
Just to talk to you for awhile
Is my favorite thing in the day
As I sit here and pray
Thank the Lord for your love
To God in the skies above
You truly know all; everything
So hear my words that I bring
Thank you for giving her to me
Before her it was dark; I couldn't see
You have in your wisdom shown me the light
So I sleep soundly; knowing it's alright
I am following the right path
I'm calculating; doing the math
I know what to do; have no fears
Cause you will be with me; giving me your ears
Listening to what I have to say
You have truly shown me the right way

Everything to Me

You are everything to me
The air I breath, eyes to see
You are the sun up above
You brighten my days with your love
You are the hand that leads me
I couldn't get through the day without thee
You are the one I most love
You are a gift from above
For I really don't deserve thee
So I am thankful He gave you to me
Always there to listen
Your eyes are like diamonds: they glisten
I would do anything for you my love
You are amazing; just your love
It's enough to bring me to tears
Losing you; my greatest fear
So know, my dear, my truest friend
I always want you here; with me until the end

Sitting Here

Sitting here day by day
Trying to think of something to say
For everything I say makes you mad
The truth of that makes me sad
I love you so much my dear
Why won't you let me near
Just let me in your heart
Cause this is tearing me apart
Unable to sleep at night
Worrying that again we will fight
Yet I am never mad at you
I don't know what to do
This is causing so much stress
I'm never getting any rest
Yet I love you to death
With each and every breath
Just the sound of your voice
Causes me to rejoice
So what am I to do
I will die if I lose you
So please my love, let me near
For everyday we fight, brings me tears

Don't Want Another Friend

Some say I need more friends
Maybe I do; for I only have you
It's not fair to pressure you this much
To always want to talk to you
To always want to be with you
It kills me when we fight
Keeps me up all night
For I love you deep in my heart
Therefore fighting tears me apart
I only want to get closer to you
To just know a little more about you
Some say I need more friends
Otherwise this friendship will end
You are getting madder everyday
Yet really, what can I say
I don't want this to come to an end
But I don't want another friend
It will only be to distract me from you
All the wonderful things we could do
If only you would let me inside
Then on wings I will glide
For you truly are an angel to me
When we talk I'm as happy as can be
So please, my dear, look at it from my end
For I only want you; not another friend

Someone for Me

Why cam't I find someone for me
A person to talk to; night and day
Someone to share; one to care
To sit with; to talk
To meet for coffee; to go for walks
Just another like me
One that likes talking and who can see
That when I love someone I want them near me
Just to talk throughout the day
Just to be here; to be close to me
To not keep things from me
Hopefully there will come a day
When I finally find someone
A person like thee; someone for me

To Distance

Lately I don't know what to do
When I love you so much
Yet just to tell you is too much
You keep me at such a distance
Warn me not to get close
When you know it's too late
I love you; you're hurting me
That you don't think of me like that
I'm just another friend to you
I didn't think it'd be like this
With me hurting everyday
Every time you make another rule
I don't know if it's worth it
To be hurt by you everyday
Even through all the love I have
I don't know if I can do it
We only met a few months now
Yet I fear it'll be the same in years
Will you ever accept me as I am
Love me for who I am
Realize how much I love you
Will you ever love me back?

Waiting Here for You

Waiting here for you
To hear your lovely voice
So full of grace; beautiful
Like a million angels singing
Every moment you don't call
Tears me apart; I miss you so
You are the sun that gives me life
You are the star that guides me
My love for you doesn't stop
Like the earth is turning; it continues
Never slowing down; growing every day
For you, my love, saved me from darkness
You showed me the light; gave me your light
For you have an abundance of it
It flows all around you
Making your face light up; your eyes sparkle
More precious than a million diamonds
I will never find another like you
For you are unique; you are amazing
Even if I'm not the one for you
If you ever change your mind
I'll love you forever; for always

I Was Warned

You warned me with your eyes
You warned me with your voice
Said to let things be
We were friends; that is enough
It was who you were; private
You warned me about her
Yet I kept on pushing
Digging into her life; where I wasn't welcome
Finally came the anger; that I didn't listen
So choose you said; to accept you or not
Cause this is who you are; this is the offer
You will be there for me; you will listen to me
Yet you won't let me into your heart; ever
So choose, and stop pushing
Otherwise you'll make the choice, to leave

My Life's A Mess

My life is crazy; that is true
Even though it's wrong, I still love you
You brighten my day
Take my stress away
In the middle of all this commotion
You bring forth my strongest emotion
My love for you grows
Renewed each day as my blood flows
Inside my heart, my dispute is strong
For to want so much of you is wrong
You like me as a casual friend
Want my love for you to end
For you don't think of me that way
I'm just another friend at the end of the day
I'm not the best thing in your eyes
The thoughts in my head are full of why's
Why can't we be closer
Why can't I be first in your roaster
Why can't you want to see me
Why can't you have the same love for me
Lately my life's been a messy one
You brighten my day; you are my sun
I miss you more and more everyday
I dream of the day you will say
You love me and miss me,
Each and everyday, as I miss thee

On The Bathroom Floor

I find myself sitting here again today
Thinking of you, every word you say
Trying to analyze your feelings for me
Will we get closer, will it ever be
I miss you like no one before
Lying here on the cold bathroom floor
Trying to stop all my crying
When you ask me how I am, I'm lying
Saying that I'm alright
For I don't want to fight
I love you way more, more than you love me
You've told me before, you said let it be
Yet I truly can't do that with the way I feel
I feel like I'm spinning around, one big wheel
Going so fast, yet getting nowhere
My love for you holds me off the ground, just by a hair
I hope one day that you will see
And love me, like I love thee

I Love You

Your eyes draw me to you
Your voice makes me smile
Your compassion fills my heart
Your hair startles me; so beautiful
Your laugh is my favourite of all; to make you laugh
My heart skips when I see you
My eyes light up; I'm a kid again
My stress goes away hearing your voice
My day is bright when your beauty shines
My tears dry when I cry to you
My words flow on this page thinking of you
You are my best friend
You are the person that cheers me up
You are the one  person I trust above all
You are a part of my life
You are amazing
I love you

An Amazing Tune

Music is amazing
The soundtrack to life
Bringing back the good times
Bringing back the memories
Remembering all the laughs
Recalling all the tears
Making you happy when you are sad
Calming you down when you're mad
Making you jump around and dance
Or just lying there; in a trance
Sharing lives of people around the globe
Of true love found and lost
Of war; terrible times in another country
Your first kiss; how it was truly bliss
The terrible pain of a breaking heart
Those summer nights; you were young and innocent
All your high school days
The moments we kneel down to pray
Music is truly all around us;
Music is amazing

Well, Fuck Me

Today I lost my phone
Out, wandering around
Looking for things to do
Trying to get you off my mind
Well, fuck me!
Pissed off; so distracted
Just thinking of you all day
When I tell you I love you; you say
Stay away, you don't like me that way
Well, shit, fuck me sideways!
All these nights I spend
Waiting to hear you say goodnight
The devastation when you don't
For you are the last on my mind
What am I to you?
Tired of guessing; oh fuck me
This hurts; when you say
We may not be able to talk everyday
You will be busy; school and work
Yet I know to, you can make time
You're just being subtle; pushing me away
Well, what can I say? Fuck me!
You're amazing in my eyes
Special to me like no other
Yet you want me to keep my distance
What more is there to say really?
Aw fuck, why do I love you so?

Are You Ever Going To Love Me?

Thinking of you again
Your beautiful voice; your stunning smile
Of all the nights we spend talking
Even when I'm dead tired; I wait for you
I love you with my soul
The feeling goes deep; dream of you when I sleep
Would do anything you say
Even if you told me to stay away
Yet I often think I'm better off that way
For these feelings for you are hurting me
Everyday, I think you'll say
Just leave me alone; I'm ruining your life
Just pushing you to much; causing you stress
You've had it with me; tired of my breath
The fear never leaves; it kills me
Eating away at me day by day
Wishing that only you would say
You love me back; I'm what you lack
You want me in your life
You're taking out the knife
For it really is a pain to love you
You're amazing; that is true
Yet holding me at a distance
Is killing me too; I love you
So this is the question; no masks
Are you ever going to love me
Love me like I love you

Pondering This Thing Called "Love"

Sitting here by myself at the cafe
Pondering love, life and wealth
Wondering if it's all it's said to be
Maybe I can't love; maybe it's me
While there's a few dear to my heart
Loving seems to hurt more
Sometimes I just wonder what it's all about
To love someone so much
To long to feel their touch
Yet love is a dangerous thing
For all the pain it can bring
It's like a time bomb inside your heart
Ticking down; ready to tear you apart
To feel so strongly about a person
Yet if those feelings aren't returned
Is it really worth it; to take that leap of faith
To believe you'll never get hurt
That love is your fate
More cautious you have to be
For I reflect on what love's done to me
It's caused me lots of joy, but more hurt
Loving may be more trouble than it's worth
Unless the person loves you in the same way
I am just left without words to say
Thinking of them all day; caring to much
I know that's silly, yet it's as such
That's the deal with love
You can't control how much to give
How much to protect your heart
From not getting ripped out
Torn to pieces; I question this thing we call 'love'
Wondering if it matters at all
Or is it just in our heads
Sitting at this cafe
I ask myself this question all day

It's What I Do Best

Writing is what I do best
A good way to get all off my chest
For there's alot of pain in my life
My heart getting stabbed with a knife
Bleeding, these words drip on the page
Telling of my love; all my rage
Over not having enough people to love
Yet those I have, I truly love
They're not always there to talk
So my fingers get restless; go for a walk
Back and forth across this page
In my writing is all my rage
That I have to live this crappy day
I wish I believed, then I would pray
Yet writing is my only belief
The only way to bring me relief
Over all the tears that I cry
Everyday they flow; until I run dry
For I don't have a happy life
I can't imagine I'll have a wife
So I sit here and do what I do best
Put my heart on paper; get it off my chest
For that's all I really have in the end
Me, myself, my paper and pen

Need To Adapt

I am starting to think after all these years
I need to stop shedding these tears
To get used to being alone
To living in an empty home
For you can't truly rely on people to cheer
Although dying alone is my greatest fear
Yet I have learned from the past
Relationships for me; they just don't last
Although they start off strong
Always they seem to go wrong
Whether by my fault or their own
In the end, I'm still sitting at home
Wishing for these feelings to end
Praying for my heart to mend
Sometimes I think it's better this way
No love to give; it'll get better one day
For I will get used to no messages on my phone
I will live a happy life by myself; alone
It's not like I have a choice
There seems to be a warning in my voice
Saying to everyone that hears
Stay away from me; I'll only bring you tears
Yet I know that's not who I am; not what I want to be
It looks like this is my life; I have only me
So you see, I have a need, a need to adapt
For if there's one thing I know; I know that

Grateful to Them

I often don’t thank them enough
For putting up with all my crazy stuff
For holding steady through my cries
They are so special in my eyes
For answering my questions everyday
When I want to chat all day
Although sometimes they may get mad
They always cheer me when I’m sad
Still, I can’t believe they’ve got my back
Putting up with all that I lack
Letting me into their hearts
Trusting I won’t tear them apart
I don’t know if I deserve all this
They are my happiness; my bliss
Without them I would be lost
My heart would be covered in frost
So hear's to those I love; family and friends
Thank you for always being by my side; you love knows no end

Ode to my Smarty Car

You and I had a lot of fun
Cruising down to the beach
The radio blasting; singing to the songs
Racing back from work
Such a little engine; speedy all the same
You got me around; helped me find the way
Steady and strong; even at 120 kilometres
Your seats kept me warm on cold days
Your clear roof let the sunshine flow in
I fed you the best fuel; for you were mine
Always I could count on you
To keep me dry in the rain
To keep me cool on hot summer days
You were truly good to me
I will always regret what that pole did to you
You didn’t deserve that; just a baby still
Your life with me was short indeed
Yet I’ll always remember you
As the little car that could

Your Lovely Face

Your lovely face
How much I can tell by it
Your amazing eyes let me know
Whether you’re mad,
Or if you’re sad
When you’re laughing they light up
Sparkle like a million stars
Making your face shine
Like a million suns
I can see your eyebrows move
When you’re thinking of something
Your mouth is amazing; the music I hear
When you laugh; always makes my day
You are truly beautiful; special
You are wonderful to me

Why Me Lord?

Oh why me lord!
What have I done to feel your wrath
I’m just another guy; trying to get by
Yet you make it so hard
You give me love; yet keep me distanced
You give me friends; yet forbid me to see them
You give me a longing to be loved
Yet I can’t have friendships
Why me lord? What have I ever done?
They say you are forgiving; merciful
Yet why must you test me so
I know, my lord, you know all
That you own heaven and earth
And all between; yet how can I live
When I only have you in me?
I feel blessed by you; yet need more
Need people to love; need her to love
She’s my everything; my love
The one I will do anything for
Yet you distance her from me
Why lord! Why torment me so?
When all I ask for; all I want
Is her, here with me

Different

Something’s changed in our friendship
Subtle though it may be; it’s there
A feeling, a sign; I’m not sure what
Yet you don’t act as you used to
You’re more reserved; withdrawn
We don’t talk much anymore
I’m trying to interpret your actions
Yet your words say otherwise
You say I’m a good friend
Yet when I’m really hurting
You tell me you can’t talk much
You sound different these days
Where is the girl that used to make me laugh?
The you that wanted to know how I was
You said you’ll always be there for me
Yet when I need you the most; gone
I know my love for you will not change
Yet something’s wrong with this friendship
Something’s different

When They Don't Love You

What to do when the one you love
Doesn’t feel the same
When it’s just casual
Yet you want something more
You smile and say you’re alright
When really you’re breaking down
Yet you keep the smile on your face; in your voice
For them; cause you don’t want to admit
How much you’re hurting; everyday
You hide the tears you cry for them; for you
When you miss them it’s a physical pain
Like someone pulling your heart out
Take a deep breath and try not to cry
Think about walking away from it all
Knowing your love will never let you
Even if it hurts; you stay rooted
Cause the love you feel is incredible
So strong; so powerful
You can’t even get mad; this is their choice
And you want their happiness more than anything
Even if it tears you apart, everyday

Waiting for You

Every morning I look at my phone
Waiting for your message
Everyday I long to learn about you
Waiting for you to let me
Every moment I think of you
Waiting for you to call me
Everyday I ask to see you
Waiting for you to miss me
Everyday I am hurting
Waiting for you to trust me
Every night you’re in my dreams
Waiting for me to be in yours
Every night I tell you I love you
Waiting for you to love me

Always Your Friend; Always Hurt

I knew the moment I saw you
You were different; special
Your beauty was amazing
Inside and out; flowing around you
Your compassion blew me away
You came into my life; it will never be the same
For my love came pouring out; amazing how strong
I will do anything for you
You mean everything to me; our friendship
Yet at a distance I am held; you hide emotions
To share only with those you truly love
Yet my love is unconditional; even though it's hard
I want to know everything about you
I never can talk with you enough; all day and night if I could
When you told me I would always be outside your heart
When you told me there were lines not to be crossed
I was hurt; how much do I love you
I fought it; I loved you too much to be outside
Yet that was how you felt; those were your terms
What could I do but accept, when I love you so much?
So accept I did; you always make me smile when we talk
I want to know you forever; be friends
Always I will be there for you; anytime
Yet every time I think about you
A part of me will always hurt
That you couldn't let me love you like I do

Impossible Dreams

For awhile I pushed; asked
To be let into your heart
To know your every emotion
For I love you; with all my heart
My best friend; the one I trust above all
Yet he came first in your life
He was the one you would turn to
When you cried, when you were happy
He was the first to know; all your thoughts
The one who got to spend time with you
You were loyal to him in every way
As well as saving yourself for him; your feelings
Only he knew all; leaving me standing here
Asking how you are; knowing you won't tell
You are my best friend; I can tell you anything
Always will you listen and comfort;
Yet he's the one you run to; your first thought
Your only thought; I love you too
Want to share your emotions; your tears
I know now that will never be
For I was dreaming impossible dreams

Jealous of Him

Tired; laying here in bed
Just want to close my eyes
Yet can't; every time I do you appear
In my thoughts; my dreams
As the clock ticks by; I think of you
How much I love you; how much it hurts
For me to accept that there's another
A person that knows everything about you
When I know not; left in the darkness
Why is he the only one; to have your trust
To share your dreams with; your pains
When I  love you so much it hurts
It's not fair to be in this much pain
To be punished like this
When my only sin was loving you to much
I may say that I can be happy with our friendship
I may smile and laugh; I'm happy for you
That you've found true love
While that may be true
Cause nothing matters more than your happiness
I am standing on the side; hurting
Longing to be let into your heart
Knowing I will never be

Is It Really Worth It?

I went through a spell
Where I was alone; no one
I thought it was the worst
Going through the day; missing someone
Not knowing if I would ever find them
Now, I have found a few
The feeling of love is new
Yet I'm also in torment; most days
Over the strength of friendship
Always wondering how much I'm valued
How much I'm trusted; where I stand
Not a best friend; nor a casual one
I'm somewhere in between; yet where?
Secrets are kept from me; rules are made
So I'm wondering; is it overrated?
For while others enjoy friendship without thought
I question the strength of it
Am I a best friend; am I just another "friend"
What am I to those I call my friends?
Trying to interpret actions and words for what they mean
You may say I'm valued and trusted
Yet you show me otherwise
So complicated my life has become
I sometimes miss the old days
When I was alone; yet wasn't tormented
Over the things kept from me
When I had no one to love; maybe it's better
Lately, I'm wondering if it is
To just go through life without companions
Sounds like a pain to be alone
Yet what I'm feeling now; how can it be any worse?

Tears In My Eye

I fear I'm losing you
For you can't love me
Like I do you
You tell me it will never be
I wish you'd love me!
That song came on today
The one from my loneliest days
Had to change the tune
For it brought tears to my eye
Instant and big; they threatened to fall
Had to stop thinking about you
Yet I can't; I love you so
Just want to share your life
Your refusal cuts my heart
Like a knife plunged deep; I weep
For all that could've been
For all my love for you therein
To many rules; to many laws
When love doesn't care
It doesn't follow logic; even though your laws aren't
Why can't you break them!
Just this once; for me
Losing you will hurt me bad
I don't know if I will ever let love in again
For it torments my heart; my emotions
I've never felt this bad; never been this mad
For I'm losing the one I love
All because of Him above

Moving On

To look at you're beautiful
Takes my breath every time
The first time I saw you I was stunned
That someone so amazing could exist
I never thought we'd cross paths
Yet we did; you became my friend
I couldn't be thankful enough
That I had a friend as great as you
We talked day after day
Yet we didn't meet, as much as I wanted
You were hesitant; reluctant
I couldn't understand why; as much as I tried
Then as we continued to share; my feelings changed
I started to love you, my best friend
Yet I still couldn't see you; it hurt me so
How could best friends not meet?
I longed to see you, week after week
Yet the days continued to go by
All I could do was try hard not to cry
I missed you so much!
I told you as much
As the days went by
My tears started to dry
The pain started to fade
I don't think of you much these days
Yet you'll stay in the past
Cause I had to let you go at last
I just couldn't deal with the pain
I wish you best luck in your life
Remember that I once loved you

A Lonely Time of Year

It's summer again
For most, adventure; freedom
For me, a dark time
A lonely time
For when everyone's with their friends
I'm alone; nobody to hang with
I love the beach, yet I wish I had another
Someone to share my time with
To be with for all these days
Yet that is not how it is
What went wrong, I think
For me to end up all alone
The question is one that's never answered
For I can't see myself in other's eyes
So although I may go out and look happy; normal
I am really crying rivers inside
Longing for someone to love me

A Lazy Summer

Hot; the sun shining down
Baking the earth; so warm
Down at the beach; in the sand
What else to do?
But lay here, when it's so hot
Pretend I'm a cat, and sleep all day
Feeling the warmth seeping in me
Spreading among my body
Nothing could be better
Have work that I should do
Yet I just can't get up
I'm rooted to this beach
If I try, I stumble in the sand
Fall back down; only to sleep some more
No work; my day off, no thinking today
My brain is shut down; sleep mode
I look up at the sun and smile
Bury deeper into the sand
Flows over me like a warm blanket
I could stay here all day
I go back to sleep

After The Day

Work work, all the time
Now it’s time to play
Go to the bar, with all my friends
Party all night; there’s no end
Drink drink drink
Here’s to the good times, the glasses clink
Out on the dance floor here we go
Just dance to the music, go with the flow
The floor is hopping,
My head is bopping
The liquor is flowing, rivers of it
Faces are glowing, drunk we get
Look at that guy! He’s so funny
Look at your nose; let me tweak it
Tweak tweak; I got your nose
I think I may be a little drunk
Hahaha, you so funny! Look, I’m a bunny!
Hop, hop, hop, I go, wiggle my bottom
Sniff your nose, I want a carrot
Bugs wants a carrot!
Why am I laughing?
Hahahaha, you laughing at me?
Serious dude, stop..hahahaha..stop laughing
Ok that’s it, youve done it
Outside, the cool night air
Fists flying, punching air
I’m too drunk, drunk as a skunk
Keep missing my guy, damn my eyes!
I’m on the ground; how did I get here
I can’t stop laughing, it fills my ear
Ok time to go home; fuck dude
Where did my keys go?
I start to roam; wonder about the street
Looking for food to eat
Thank God it’s Saturday tomorrow!
I’m going to be hung over; feeling sorrow

Show Me, My Love

Please, my love
Show me what I mean to you
I’m tired of guessing
So withdrawn are you unto yourself
All I want is to see your love
To know your mind; your secrets
For you are a very private person
Yet there shouldn’t be anything holding you back
There are others you love; you share with
Why not me? How I love you so!
My first thought; my last thought
The focus of my dreams
So please, my love, open yourself to me
Your heart, your mind, I want to explore
To be among those you trust; you confide in
So my lovely, know that I want to see the real you
You know how I feel; it’s up to you now

You are You

You are amazing
You are shy; very shy
You are compassionate
You are beautiful
You are stunning
You are hilarious
You are loving
You are dedicated
You are precious
You are you
You are my friend

A Distance Kept

I couldn’t believe it when I met you
That my luck was so good
As to find such a wonderful person
To be my friend; someone so caring
I gave my trust to you
Told you everything without fear
Now I’m beginning to wonder
Did I give to much?
For while I have made an effort to get closer
You have made an effort to stay at a distance
I wanted to know everything about you
Yet you kept me at bay
Saying you trusted me; I don’t think so
For to trust is to tell; without hesitation
You are full of hesitation; reluctant
I am beginning to wonder; how you view me
You know, without doubt, how I love you
Yet the feeling is not returned
I’m not sure what to think
When I ask you; your answers are vague
Never saying anything directly; I’m left to guess
Which is never good; imagination running wild
Full of possibilities; reasons why you can’t trust me
I just don’t know what to think
I just don’t know what to think

Questioning Love; Friendship

I used to think love was the best
To have friends enriches life
So many fun memories; people to laugh with
To share your feelings with; to have them shared with you
Yet I am now beginning to wonder; now that I’ve tasted it
Sweet on the outside; yet I fear the core is bitter
To have feelings for a friend that aren’t returned hurts
To want to just see them all the time; normally
Yet if they don’t want that; it hurts
For your mind to be in constant turmoil over how they love you
If they don’t want to hear you say it.....
There are so many rules; spoken or unspoken
When there shouldn’t be; you’re just friends
For them to have so many secrets; to keep things from you
When you tell them everything
There comes a point where you say
Is it worth it?
To go through the emotional stress of friendship
I am beginning to think not
That it’s better to only have casual relationships
The ones where love doesn’t play a part
That it’s better to keep your secrets to yourself
Your feelings
Because in the end, who else can you really trust?

It’s cccoldd!

The winter is in full force
As freezing wind whips my face
Aggressive; trying to cut through me
Hail blows into me; like a million tiny rocks
The ground below me is frozen
As are my feet; my toes I can’t move
The snow is deep; comes up to my knee
Jeez!  It’s cold!
As I wait for the light to change; shivering
My hands are icicles; I can’t move my fingers
Bloody winter!
It’s been like this for weeks; non stop
Just want to leave; go to Hawaii
As I finally get to the office
Can’t wait to have some coffee
For the next eight hours anyway
I will be comfortable

The Full Time Student

You are amazing; brilliant
Always working; hours and hours
You spend each day; on homework
Studying; non stop
No time for friends; they will wait
School comes first; grades are everything
Nothing less than perfect will do
Stay up all night; trying to finish
Friends keep texting; turn off the phone
You must finish; it’s due tomorrow
You strive to please your parents
To please yourself; you set the bar high
Some call you a bookworm
Yet you’re not; just dedicated
To your studies; your future
When you get the perfect grade; excitement
All your work is worth it; so happy
No time for celebration though
Class starts again soon
You must prepare
Thus is your life; for the next five years

Where Am I?

I often feel lost
Just floating in space
Nowhere to go; just live
For that’s all I can do
Waiting for the day
When I find my purpose
For the son to coach at the gym
The daughter to caution about boys
For the girl I choose
To spend the rest of my life with
Just waiting for all those things to come
Not sure how to get them; no plan
Yet I am living; moving forward
Cause that’s all I can do
Just enjoy each day; enjoy life
Otherwise you miss it
Always planning for the future
Yet not living in the present
So although I have no clue
Where am I?
I know that someday, I will get there

This Is I

Happily, I will talk to you
Lovingly, I will care for you
A friend, I will be there for you
I am stubborn, don’t like change
Yet eventually I do change
The sun makes my day
I could lay in it for hours
Speed is my friend, I have no time
Yet I like to chill, there’s no rush
Music is the essential in my day
The soundtrack to everything I do
I love meeting people, I see the good in them
I am shy, yet will talk for hours with those I trust
I am outgoing; only the public part of me though
I hide my true feelings, to share with those I love
Chatting, my favourite part of working
Pure bullshit most of the time, yet sincere
Good looking bodies draw my eyes
Men, women, doesn’t matter
Sex is sex, an orgasm an orgasm
Physically, the same; only the emotional side
That’s what I look for, someone I can talk to
I have yet to find that person, the one for me
I can’t live without a car; refuse to take the bus
Exercise is my liberation; always an enjoyment
I love pushing myself, physically
Mentally, I’d rather sleep
Full of laughter, I don’t shed tears
Yet I get depressed, only when I’m lonely
Writing fills me with contentment; with joy
Only what I want though; I won’t be told what to write
Routine rules my life; when it’s broken there’s hell to pay
Nature blows me away; a sunset is a miracle
I realize material possessions don’t matter
Love and friendship are one and the same
Yet I love nice things; couldn’t live without them
Communication is essential to a long lasting relationship
I’ve always known that, yet haven’t been a part of it
I will always be loyal to the ones I love
Unless the day comes, when I no longer love them
Yet I am most forgiving; most merciful
And that isn’t saying I am Allah
Forgive me for using the phrase; yet it describes me
I love with a passion; it fills my heart
This is me; this is my life
For better or worse, I will live it

No Explanation

Lately, you’ve been withdrawn
Used to hear from you all the time
Now, only once in a while
You act like everything’s all right
Like nothing has changed
Yet what am I to wonder
There must be a reason; I must know!
I would understand a explanation
Even if it hurts, I will accept it
For I love you my dear
So you have my ear
Please explain your actions
For I am one who notices minute changes
And it is undeniable; you’ve changed
Maybe it is I who have changed, in your eye
Yet whether it be me, or it be you
I must know the reason; truly I must
For sitting here wondering is the worst
My logic can’t find any in you
I need to be shown how you think
So, my dear, please satisfy my confusion
For better or for worse, know you have my love
Forever and always

A Pleasure Filled Night

Pleasure tingles through me
As she pours the wax on me
So hot! I wither under her
The clips are next; I suck in deeply
My nipples are searing; metal clips are cold
I am under her control; she’s my master
I’ve been very naughty; must be punished
She is relentless; the nine tails comes down
SMACK! SMACK! I cry out
You’ve been a bad boy; yes mistress!
Out come the chains; up I go
Chained to the wall; I’m a prisoner
They are cold on my skin; as she wraps them
All around me; between my legs
She pulls it tight; it squeezes
I am going crazy; her hands start to work
Their fingers working their way down my body
Skipping over where they’re needed
I cry out in frustration; in anticipation
The night’s just starting; she’s my master
I must obey her; she’s my god

Always and Forever

Love is blind, that much is true
I would do anything for you
I would die for you
I would lie for you
I would give my life
For you, my wife
You mean everything to me
Without you how can I be
My world isn’t complete without you
I live to see your lovely eyes of blue
You are my one and only
With you, I’m never lonely
You mean everything to me
I can’t wait to have kids with thee
When we grow old, I will be there
To nurture, to love and care
I will be there to the end
All your troubles I will mend
So please know my dear, today, our tenth year
I will always be there, always want you near

Love To Strong To Break

This friendship is getting hard
Not seeing you for this long
When you live so close
What am I to think
I've told you how I feel many times
Yet you keep putting me off
Saying you're to busy; yet you're not
You spend time with your other friends
I talk to you everyday; yet you're private
So hard for me to understand
I just want to know where I stand
You know I love you
But what am I to you
Your actions contradict your words
To say you love me; yet stay away
So I'm kneeling here before God to pray
Please let her have the strength to let me know
Either way, where I am in her heart
I am asking this as a last resort
Words of pray; I don't often declare
Please guide me through this my lord
I love her so very much, yet I am hurt
I can make a choice if only I know
In what role do I play in her life

Tired Of Love

This feeling is wearing me down
This love I feel for you; too much
I could never really describe it
Suffice to say it wears; rips and tears
Tears at my heart; longing to get out
Yet I can only tell you so many times
You have listened and told me the same
That you loved me; yet what am I to think
When you say one thing; your actions say another
Full of contradictions you are; which you won't explain
You will talk to me; yet not tell me everything
You will say you consider me a best friend
Yet will not see me when I ask
If I press you to explain; you recoil
Everything I know about you is bits and pieces
Told over a million conversations
Never explained fully; you leave me to wonder
When all I want to do is be in your heart
I wish you would trust me more; I love you so
My trust in you is deep; yet your heart isn't mine to keep
If I felt you didn't love me, I could understand
Yet your words speak otherwise; just look into my eyes
See the hurt and confusion in me; tell me how you think of thee
Because I need to know; your heart you need to show
I can't have a distant relationship with you; it kills me not to see you
To hear from you everyday; yet not be with you so I can say
I love you like I've never loved another; yet we need to be true to each other
That is the way friendship is supposed to be; let's talk about why you hold back from me
Just sit and talk for a day; about all your feelings about me, I want to hear your say
To know where I stand; this much I demand
For I'm feeling tired of this crazy feeling that is love
So please let me into your heart, my love

Love Has No Logic

Why must I love you so
When I know you’re just going to go
Leave me here all alone
Sitting in my empty home
I never thought I could feel this
Sometimes it’s torture, most it's bliss
Feelings I have for you are strong
I don’t know what went wrong
For I said to myself I wouldn’t fall
Yet I gave my heart to you, my all
To do with as you will
Knowing my love I cannot kill
Even if it hurts to not see thee
Love’s one thing I cannot change in me
You make me smile when I think of you
Cheer me up when I’m blue
You’re always there for me; my best friend
I will love you always to the end

The Happy Bee

Look at her in that dress
Clinging tightly to her chest
The dance she’s doing causes ripples
I am stunned by her amazing nipples
Moving her body to the beat
All shiny and wet from the heat
The music is pounding in my head
I can’t wait to get her into bed
For now she’s doing this tease
Then it’ll be my turn to please
Her waist is small
My favourite thing of all
She’s getting closer to me
I want her honey; I’m just a bee
Longing to buzz around her hive
I open my mouth and take a dive
Oh the juice is just so sweet
She moans when her lips and mine meet
Greedily I drink all I can
After all I am a man
Drinking is my greatest pleasure
Her juice a precious treasure
Above me she thrashes
When my tongue and her bud clashes
I love being the one to taste her flower
All through her I can feel my power
Soaring through her until it reaches new heights
I love giving her these delights
Finally she can take no more
We’ve both fallen to the floor
I look at her; she comes to me with a smile
The pleasure is now mine for awhile

The Last One Standing

Silence envelopes me
The air is still; cool
It’s dark; yet my senses tingle
Hyper-alert to everything
If a leaf dropped a mile away I would hear
Where are all the lives
It’s only myself, when life should be everywhere
How I survived; I do not know
Standing in a forest; yet no animal stirs
The skies are clear; devoid of birds
I am the only one left on this earth
Walk to streams; the water is still
Unmoving; its life vanished as well
I can’t be the only one left
I start walking; to find life
Somehow knowing it’s no more

The Hungry Cat, The Bird of Blue

Hey you!
The black cat
Where is my bird; you look extra fat
Let me check your mouth for signs of blue
Tweety wouldn’t disappear I knew
He isn’t where he last sat
What have you done, you blasted cat!
Now you have filled my heart with rue
You would be gone if I didn’t love you
So the next pet I get, will be a second cat
Let’s see how you like that!

You To Me

Like a star you shine
Like the sun you light my day
Like water you refresh me
Like a miracle you amaze me
Like a grand canyon you take my breath away
Like a puppy you make me smile
Like a diamond you make me feel valued
Like a rock you hold me steady
Like a foundation you support me
Like a mother you love me
Like a friend you’re there for me
Like a sister I love you

My Torment

This is torment
The feeling I have
The one you won’t help
I need to see you; such a simple thing
Yet you refuse; out of fear, anxiety
Not realizing how hard it is on me
Missing you so much everyday
The only thing on my mind
To see you; spend time together
I feel like crying; this is the worst than being alone
I don’t understand; I love you so much
Yet you’re holding me at a distance
You’ve said you loved me; yet you have not shown
To love is to want to be with, if only friends
Yet you refuse! Testing my love everyday
You tell me you’re shy; uncomfortable
I’m your friend; it shouldn’t be so
We are meant to spend time
To hang out, as friends do
Everyday I tell you I love you
Yet at a distance I still am kept
It’s tearing me apart; breaking my heart
What am I to think; I no longer know...

Sensuality In Dancing

In the club dancing
Hot, moving
The music pounding
His body is rock hard
Running my hands down his stomach
Feeling the ridges under my fingers
Makes me long, for his body
Grinding; working hard
I hand him another drink
He’s looking better by the minute
His hands slither down me
Below my waist they go
Hips are moving; wanting to get close
His lips look enticing; dangerous
I want them for myself
Lean in and they touch mine
I always get my way
Tongues are entwined; which one’s mine
Tasting; sensuality flowing between us
His muscles are strong; I can feel them
Tensing to my touch; responding
He leans and whispers so I might hear
Let’s get out of here

Hurting

It pulls at my heart
That almost physical pain I feel
When I’m really hurting
Needing to see you; you can’t
Yet you’re close; I can’t see
I asked, pleaded; you said no
That you’d rather be left alone
If only in reality
Yet we talk everyday; all night
A women of a beautiful mind; many pains
Those are what hold you back
Causes you to put distance between us
It’s better, you say; while I just sit here
Crying; tears of frustration rolling down
I wish you’d see how much I love you
That my love would be enough
Yet it’s not; I’m hurting badly
Like never before; love in the cause
To love a distant person; the worst pain
Like a dagger in my very being
Blood dripping; my heart is crying
For all that love I feel; unconditionally
With frustration; it’s never ending
You say friends have left
Because you couldn’t get past that emotion
You know that would never happen
Yet I’m in constant torment
Thinking how happy I am to see you
Thinking why can’t I have that everyday
Why must it be so long; such an ordeal
A test of my love for you; it feels
Yet  my love is strong; has deep roots
Holding steady through the storm
Even though sometimes I just want to let go
Let my heart be blown away; not to return
My roots are deep; even if I try
The love keeps me steady
As much as it hurts me; I’ll be here
Struggling to abide by your laws
Wishing and hoping for the day
When you are able to revoke them

Grateful for a Star

The sun shines down
Strong, fierce
Powerful enough to burn
Yet gentle enough to give life
A perfect balance; life requires both
Without the sun; everything dies
The earth would be lost; drifting
No longer a place for it in the universe
Cast into darkness; earth would die
Slowly wasting away; no new life
To look up in the sky; see the sun
Think; this is the reason for existence
And be grateful we have this beautiful star

Broken Promises

I said to myself I would never love again
It hurts to much i said
Like a thousand needles in my heart
So I made promise, I did
To keep at a distance, never to love
Never to show my heart
To keep it safely locked away
Guarded by a thousand walls
It was lonely, but not that bad
Some days I was happy, some I was sad
Then you came along, opened up your arms
Strong though I am, you tumbled those layers
To all come crashing down
I was vulnerable; my heart in my hand
Talking with you, I could be true
Tell you all the things on my mind
Yet some things just can’t come to life
Only emotionally, were you in my life
Everyday I longed to see you
Yet you couldn’t; oh how I missed you!
To be so close to someone; I love you so much
It was killing me never to see you
Yet that was such
I love you more than anything
I know that is such
To love and not see, is just to much
To much for my heart to bear
I still talk to you everyday;  I know you’re there
Sometimes I wonder why, why I did this much
To love you like I do, and not see you is such
Such a constant pain, deep in my heart
You live so near; yet I feel we are worlds apart
So please don’t be hurt; I love you with my soul
But I can’t break my promise again in my life
So I’m moving away; I just can’t stay
To live so close; and not see you everyday
I’m closing my heart, love I now fear
I can’t escape from broken promises,
As long as you’re near

Unconditional Love

My father wasn’t nice to me
Not just unfair like the rest can be
He didn’t like me from the start
I just couldn’t wait til we would part
He would push me away in a time of need
Couldn’t see my feelings through his greed
My mom tried to help me a bit
Yet every time she tried, he would hit
Withdrawn I became, hid my heart
All the while inside, I was falling apart
Loyal to him is how I would be
Not knowing how much it was hurting me
Ten years later, I still can’t forgive
Yet through it all I have love to give
His actions have still an impact in my life
My heart is still damaged, cut like a knife
I hope someday I will see
He was my father, but he didn’t deserve me

Betraying a Delicate Heart

My poor delicate heart
Breaking everyday
Falling apart
Why did you have to say
Those words which broke my heart
I still don’t understand to this day

I gave you my all
Only to be pushed; to fall
You took my heart; made it bleed
Even when I showed you my need
The happiest man you made me
My love for you was all I could see

Now, I sit here, I’ve moved on
I still don’t know why you are gone
You were my first true love
I would’ve given you the skies above
However, you betrayed me, you did
So I went inside myself; I hid

Love 'Til It Hurts

I never thought it would be like this
To love someone so much I'm in bliss
The thought of losing you makes me cry
All the teardrops that would fall from my eye
I don't want to leave
My life I was just starting to weave
Only to have it all fall apart at the seams
Now every night I cry in my dreams
I love you to death
I would literally give up my breath
My life didn't start til the day we met
I would see you everyday, if only you let
You are always there for me in a time of need
Was patient with me through all my greed
For before we met I was a different guy
You changed me little by little as the days went by
Made me want to be the best I could be
You were there everyday, you believed in me
I now see life in a completely new light
You have also kept me up late at night
For there's nothing I'd rather do
I live my life to talk with you
Just the thought of you puts a smile on my face
The sight of you, I could light up the place
You have trusted me with your heart
I couldn't bear the thought of us apart
From the day I first met thee
I knew there was finally a friend for me

The Receding of My Heart

You are the loveliest person I've ever met
Everything to me; caring, kind
Your soul is good, honest
It hurts me so much not to see you
To know you’re minutes away
Yet you could be thousands of miles
The love I feel for you is unrivalled
My heart feels like it will explode
I know you love me; as I love you
Yet circumstances beyond my control
Keep us apart; forbid us to meet
Like a knife in my heart; it hurts me so
So I’ve made a resolve; to recede to before
Before we met; my heart was locked then
In a safe box; untouched by love
I know it will be hard; painful
Yet nothing could hurt more
Then the pain I feel now; missing you
It will fade over time; the love I feel for you
Lessening the pain everyday; until I return
Return to the lonely state of yesterday
Being alone is hard; missing you is impossible

Gathering my Inner Strength

What’s wrong with me I say
Having so many feelings everyday
I should be stronger than this
When I’m with you, it’s bliss
I promised myself never to care
Cause hurt pulls the heart; it tears
After I met you I knew I was done
Having you for a friend was too much fun
Thinking of you made me lazy
The love I felt for you was crazy
Just the thought of you put a smile on my face
Then I found out you were leaving this place
Into despair I was hurled
The thought of losing you; my stomach curled
All the time we have yet to share
Why are you leaving; it isn’t fair
You are the most amazing person I could meet
Without you in my life; the world will be bleak
You showed me the meaning of true love
Introduced me to God in the skies above
I will miss you like nothing else when your gone
It will take all my inner strength just to move on

Lost

I was so happy, so content
Knew my place in life
It wasn’t perfect
Although it was close
Everyday I lived; merrily
Busy a lot; safe above all
Everything was there; essentials to happiness
Love, friends, play

It was in the back of my mind
Lurking there like a disease
Growing a tiny amount everyday
After a year, it was bigger
Every year therefore; it grew
Until the day came; you left
It exploded; took over my whole body
Invaded my heart; tearing it to shreds
I was lost; no longer had a place in life
Into the darkness, I was thrown
After all the years of light; none
The black drove me crazy; insane
Couldn’t stop crying your name
That you could come back and pull me out
The agony was unbearable; surely this was hell
I didn’t think I could get out; as much I tried
Every time I would get close; almost
Only to have one thought of you throw me back
Like it was happening all over again
Nothing left of my heart anymore
It’s gone; a black, cold, empty space all that’s left
I want so badly to get out of this place
Can’t do anything; so so cold
The pain brought me to the floor
Couldn’t get up for my life
Everyday I just lay here now
Thinking of you; how you left

The Empty Boat

Sitting in this row boat
Knowing I have no hope
No hope for a happy life
None for having a wife
Don’t have a single friend
My life is awful; must end
So here I sit in my boat
A rock tied to me so I don’t float
The lake is quiet, it is deep
It won’t take to long for me to sleep
Into that eternal sleep I will slide
I throw the rock over the side

The Silly Cow

Moo, goes the cow
As he tries to keep up to the plow
He's been running all day
Why won't the plow just stay
Driving all through the farm
He could climb up if he had a arm
His owner just looks at him
Thinking, poor, silly Tim
Enjoying the scene he raised his brow
What a lovely, silly cow

Painful Reminiscing

Thinking here tonight
How we had so much fun
Would laugh for hours
Or just sit in silence
The kind of friendship everyone wants
Knew everything about you
Loved you through your bad moods
Through the fits and crying
Always was there for you
The middle of the night; I came
You meant the world to me
Nothing was more important than you
I miss those days; the pain rips me apart
Why did you have to call it quits
When I gave you myself; always your friend
You had to betray me, dismiss me
I feel like I’ve been crushed
I was the cup and you were the hand
No reason given; you just stopped caring
In a moment, all that we had disappeared
Just evaporated; an ocean gone in a second
Friendship is about forgiving
I can never forgive you for what you did
I loved you more than life itself
Words can’t describe how I felt
When I found out you didn’t
I will never forgive you
But always will love you

Summer Eve

Sitting here on this cool night
Looking across the water at the lights
The city is beautiful; takes my breath away
Why would people move, when they could stay
The sky is clear
The sunset is here
Fading away; the darkness arrives
The moon high in the sky; so bright to my eyes
I could stay all night
Sitting here I have no fright
On this beautiful summer eve
Never want to leave

The Good Years

Looking back, wasn't perfect then
Young, not much to spend
Oh the fun we had
Chasing girls; being bad
Drinking Friday nights
Drunk, getting into fights
Making out with girls
Trying to break their pearls
In the back seats of cars
In the bathrooms of bars
No worry, no care
Spending hours on my hair
Hanging out down by the pool
Even though we should be in school
Blowing through our lives
Can't believe we all have wives
It was so much fun back then
With my best buddy Ben
Now that's all in the past
Through many broken bones, lots of casts
Still get together a few times a year
Just to party and drink lots of beer
Yes, it wasn't perfect then
Young, not much to spend

Blue Suicide

I’m so damn depressed
Living tired and stressed
Going through the day
Nothing good to say
All alone
Empty home
Just don’t know
How much longer I can go
Crying and drinking all night
Just aching to get into a fight
Want to feel physical pain
Fight and fight, til I’m slain
Just sick of my life
I bring out my knife
Suddenly, the police are here
Yelling to drop in my ear
Their guns come out
People start to shout
Look one right in the eye
Lunge toward him; I want to die

The Valet

I’m so fucking sick of this!
Everyday I take shit
Shit from everyone
I’m just a layman in life
Without money to spend
Can’t enjoy myself
Working at this place
Driving Mercedes, Bentleys, Maseratis
Can’t even afford a fucking bike
I smile at them; don’t say anything
As they are hesitant to part with their prizes
Just hate them all!
After work I stay; drink til I throw up
Just trying to drown my sorrows
Is there a point in waking tomorrow?
I stumble out; looking for trouble
Maybe that truck; driving fast enough
Will it hurt; fuck it, I don’t care
Waiting, it’s almost here; speeding
It arrives; I jump

Drinking and Depression

Saturday night
Everybody’s out
In bars, they drink, dance
Relaxing after a long week
Laughing with their friends
Dancing with their lovers
I’m in the back; at the bar
Alone; I drink
Trying to drown my sorrows
Don’t want to wake up tomorrow
I am here with no one
By myself; bad to drink
When one is so down
During my life
I feel like I’m going to drown
Drifting through; pushing through the fog
Wanting to give up; no end in sight
One more drink; keep ‘em coming
When will the pain stop?
I get behind the wheel of my car
Bad to drive to a bar
Going fast; don’t care; so depressed
There’s a wall; a place to end it all
People shout; I don’t stop
Going faster still; I close my eyes
And am finally at peace when I die

Sick of Life

Pointless; everyday living
Going through life; unhappy
No reason to live; time to die
People say they’ll miss me
I know they won’t
Can’t live with this depression
Hate my existence so
Just want it to end
No money; no life
No one to love
So jealous of those
Who have friends in their life
Who have family; husbands; wifes
Sick of being alone; all these years
The gun I’ve had a long time
I know it well; an extension of my arm
The mouth or the temple
Doesn’t really matter
The metal tastes bitter
The last thing I think about
A tear rolls down my eye
Pull the trigger

The Forest

Trees spread their leaves
Soaking in the gorgeous sun
Squirrels run up them
Chasing each other in and around
Chattering away happily
The bird sings, calling her children
The sun is high in the sky
Rabbits hop through the grass
Down the hole they go
Humming birds hover in the air
As they have a delicious meal of flower
Above the forest, watching it all
The eagle soars, the mightiest of all
The king of the sky, no one dare challenge
Everything and creature living their life
Together, in harmony, in this forest
As it was meant to be

Winter Nights

Sunlight is disappearing
Leaving beautiful night in its wake
The days are getting colder
The snow is almost here
Oh, I do love this time of year
Wrapped up by the fire
Reading all the books I dare
Sipping my whisky,
Enjoying the warmth it brings
My cat on my lap, purring loud
As the night gets darker
The moon clear and bright in the sky
As I sit writing this, I couldn’t wish for more
Right now, this moment, I’m in bliss
Oh, how I love this time of year

The Choice

I don’t know how to live
I have so much love to give
Although no one to give it to
My friends left me too
I think I should quit
I don’t like life a bit
I’ve thought about this before
I’ll never be anything more
Just a pathetic waste of space
No one wants to see my face
Everyday I think about death
As I work my way through the meth
Now, more than ever before
I am welcoming death to my door
Over the ridge
Up to the bridge
The water is cold and rocky below
I will be gone in a single blow
There’s no written letter
This way it’s better
The wind blows in my eyes
Drowning out my dreadful cries
I look down and close my eyes
I’ve finally made the choice to die

Broke

God I hate being broke
The money I have is a joke
No money for food, nor for rent
Everything I have is spent
Working this crappy job, day by day
Getting hardly any pay
I can’t live like this
What do I have to miss
The knife is in my drawer
Plunge it deep, fall to the floor
The pain will soon end
Can’t live with no money to spend
On the counter is a note
It says the explanation is in the poems i wrote
Just read them and you’ll understand
Life without money is something I can’t stand

Summer

The sun is out; hot
Lying on the beach; toes in the sand
Just relaxing; watching the people
Girls prance in bikinis; so hot
Guys show off their muscles
Just begging to be touched
The water is nice; refreshing
How I love the summer
Don’t have a care in the world
Could stay here forever
Until summer comes to an end
And the waiting begins

The Storm

Darkness reigns over the place
Rain showers down
Wind whips the trees; trying to steal
Branches and leafs soar everywhere
Sweeping the ground; the wind is king
Birds float on the winds
The forest floor is soaked
Rain draining into the ground
Feeding the trees
Keeping them strong
So they might beat the wind
Cold air is everywhere
Animals scramble for shelter
Hiding in trees, holes, under logs
Lightening strikes; nature is angry
Splitting the trees; trying to harm
Thunder follows; roaring its mighty boom
Then it’s over; the skies clear
Sunlight shines through the canopy
Peaking it’s head in the forest
Plants open their leaves to the sun
Saying hello; bathing in it’s life
The forest is once again a happy place
Always prepared for the storms

So Small

I sometimes think
What am I, I’m so small
One in billions; insignificant
To think; that many people
Each one unique; special to someone
I go about my life; wrapped in a bubble
Unable to comprehend the world
All the animals; what about them
How do they see us
Do they hate us
Taking away they’re shelter
Polluting their homes
Killing millions of them
What do they do; do they have families
Jobs to go to, school?
How do we know
Is there ever going to be a day when we can listen
Communicate with all of God’s creatures?
I guess that’s life; we’ll live it
Never to fully understand it
Just be the best we can be
Just live

Done

I hate my life!
Depression with me everyday
No money!
No friends!
I’m done!
The knife is in my hand
I plunge it in my arm
Drag it slowly up
Blood’s everywhere
The air fills with copper
The pain is unbearable; it doesn’t matter
Before I can scream I slit my throat
I’m on the floor; it’s over

Drowning....Slipping Away

Drowning....slipping away
No point in anything
No joy in my life
Only stress;  eating at me
Destroying me minute by minute
Depression hits me; hard, unrelenting
Like a lead blanket it pushes me down
Squeezing my chest; taking away my air
So far down I can’t feel light
There’s no light in hell
Just want to leave; quickly, quietly
I take the pills in my hand
Such little things; so powerful
Whisky almost gone; one last pull
The pills go down smoothly; the bottle empty
Now comes the wait; it won’t be long
I sit down; writing to everyone
I’m sorry; I can’t live like this
Thank you for everything; I love you
I’m starting to drift off
Can’t keep my eyes open
The bed is warm; I wrap the blanket around me
I sleep; never to wake again

Enough

I’ve had enough!
Enough of this crappy life
Bills to pay; I can’t keep up
Drowning in debt; not willing to sacrifice
There’s no point in living poor
I’d rather not live at all
I often wonder if that’s the solution
Just be done with it; no more stress
No job; nobody to care
I just don’t see the point
Death on my mind everyday
Clouding all other thoughts
I get the gun down; look at it in my hand
So simple...just one squeeze
That’s all it takes
The metal feels cool against my skin
A great wave of relief sweeps over me
I pull the trigger; I’m done

Just One Night

I see her at the bar
The hottest girl so far
Slide up to her, sly as a cat
Maam, you look pretty in black
Can I buy you a drink
What do you think
Care for a dance
Just give me a chance
That was fun
We’re not done
Welcome to my place
You have such a pretty face
We’re in my bed
Two hours and we’re dead
She falls asleep when it’s over
Til tomorrow...when we’re both sober

S & M

The whip cracks down
Sending shivers through my naked body
She pulls the collar tighter; enhancing my pleasure
She looks so good dressed in leather
My thoughts don’t stay though
As she ties me up to the bed
In goes the needle; how I love the pain
I pull on the ropes; her touch almost to much
The whip smacks down again; WHACK
Nine strips of leather; one blow
Down she goes; her teeth relentless
Nipping, biting; biting, nipping
Almost over the edge I go again
She pulls back; teasing
I beg her; I can’t take this
My whole body’s leaping
The handcuffs holding me back
I’m so close; I feel like I going to die
Please, let me cum!
She just smiles; saying nothing
Out comes the ring
Its vibes feeling amazing!
One squeeze; I’m in heaven
I’m free; I steal the whip
It’s my turn

On Fire

My body is on fire
White hot daggers sear through me
Like a thousand burning needles
I try to scream; I can’t
So paralyzed am I with pain
Nothing can describe this
All my other senses are gone
All I can feel is agony
Lying here; people all around
Sirens wail; the fire truck arrived
Someone’s talking to me
I can’t see; am I blind?
.....I’m in the ambulance
Hooked up to all kinds of stuff
The paramedics over me; working furiously
You’re gonna be fine!.....
My eyes flutter open, pain instantly seizes my body
Everything’s fuzzy; is this heaven?
My wife is beside me; crying
The doctor’s above me; saying I’m lucky
For two weeks I’ve been here
I’ll make a full recovery; so lucky
I look at my wife; tell her I love her
Thank God for saving me

My Angel

He sits there; a beautiful angle
The sun shines down on him
His face is perfect; sculpted in heaven
Made by God himself
Not a flaw in sight; majestic
When he walks he glides
Moving with such grace
When he smiles; he lights the world
Everyone looking at him is affected
He comes to me; I am speechless
He chose me; I’m nothing special
Yet I love him with all my being
He still takes my breath away,
Everyday

No Time

I’m running out of time
My days on earth coming to a end
Death is creeping upon me
Getting closer every day; I can feel it
Trying to make amends with those I’ve hurt
All is forgiven; it doesn’t matter
Thinking of all the little things
Things that broke friendships
People I’ve lost; people I’ve found
Those I love are around me
I tell them I love them every day
Tomorrow might be my last
As I lay here I think
I’ve had a good life; I’m grateful
If my time is up; I accept that
I tell them I love them; one last time

She Is My Life

The wind swept through her hair
The day warm and bright
Casting a radiant glow on her face
Her smile large and sweet
Grabs at my heart with its power
I look at her, admire her beauty
Remember the day she first stole my heart
All these years later I still feel lucky
To have a women like this
It humbles me; I'm grateful
Look down at her; tell her I love her
That I will love her forever
She is a essential part of me
She is my life

The Accident

My life flashes before me
Lying on the road
My bike flown out of the way
Brushed aside like a fly
My bike no match for the car
People all around me; are u alright?
Lying there in pain; blood everywhere
Strapped down; the ambulance screaming
Just lying there; I have no one to call
No one to be by my bedside
Oh why didn’t my life end!
It would’ve been so simple
No more lonely days
No more tears
Finally everything would be over

After The Rain

The rain comes down, relentless
Days and days, only clouds
Soaking everything; damp
When it clears, I’m stunned
Only amazing beauty is left
The sunlight reflects off the water
Making everything around sparkle
The plants have hidden from the rain
Now they emerge, refreshed after a long drink
Their colors even more marvellous then before
I stand here and let the smells come
The whole forest alive
Birds sing; such harmony
Rain is life; rejuvenation for the forest
It comes down hard; angry
Leaving beauty and bliss in its wake
Rain is life for all

If Only People Knew

So tired, so very tired
It’s all so hard, to pretend
To look at, I’m happy
At work, people like me; I’m popular
I may smile and joke; it’s a mask
I hide behind it every day
If only they knew, last night I cut myself
What would people think; what would they say
To know there’s one among them; considering death
It would seem so unreal; they wouldn’t believe it first
Not someone like me, who’s always laughing, joking
I feel numb, not sadness, not depressed, nothing
Going through every day, empty, invalid
Life without emotions is not life; it’s nothing
There’s no reason to live anymore
I want to leave; tonight is my last train

Perfection

The birds sing, bringing me music
In the early morning, I sit, listen
The sunlight is bright, warming the day
I look and see butterflies, beautiful
Everything seems to move in harmony
Every creature knows its place
If only it were so easy for humans, I think
A robin lands on my porch, just perched there
Its brilliant bright red chest stands out
The color blending in to the sunrise
There’s no where I’d rather be this moment
On my porch, I’m in heaven
Just marvelling at God’s creations before me

Kids Again

The summer is here
Sunlight is dominating the days
Pushing the darkness away
Warm sand flows over my toes
Just walking along the beach with my wife
Holding hands in the warm summer breeze
I could do this forever; loving every moment
Into the water we go, warm as a bath
We laugh as we splash, kids again
To hear her laugh, her amazing eyes
I love this women so much
My heart still flutters when I see her
I pull her into my arms
In the ocean, we dance

Human Nature

Waves lap against the shore
She lies there in the white sand
The water flowing over her, then back
Looking like a goddess of the sea
The sun is setting; casting a golden glow on her face
I long to touch her; her body seems to call
I dare not though, for it’s not her will
She looks at me and smiles
Just a tease, almost irresistible
Her smile says come, her eyes say don’t dare
I just watch from a distance
Thinking about human nature,
How we long for things we’ll never have

Dark Night

The day is over
Darkness falls upon the city
Like a black cloak swept over the sun
The night air is cool, crisp
As I sit under the moon, I see her
She is just a silhouette against the black sky
Through it all her beauty shines,
Like a million suns she brightens the night
Seems to fit in perfectly with nature
Just sitting there, looking like the angel she is
I go up to her, admire her as I get close
Her beauty, momentarily taking my breath
I whisper her name, she turns to me
Her smile dazzles me, so powerful it is
She comes to me, I bath in her embrace
At that moment nothing matters
Except our love, strong enough to move mountains

Depression

I hear people and feel nothing
Their laughing, smiling, enjoying life
I only see darkness,
A black hole, swallowing me up
As I struggle everyday to climb out
So far in, I can't see light
Can’t tell day from night
My lungs feel like they’re shrinking
Getting smaller every minute
Making it hard to breath
I claw and claw, trying to get out
Only to slip and fall back in
The darkness greedily swallowing me up
Soon I stop trying; I’m too far in
I just let go and except my fate
Never to live again

Pain or Pleasure

Pain is a pleasure
Something I treasure
Only fun when I’m home
Although not when alone
My girl is with me
She loves to whip me
To hear the whip crack
She’s dressed all in black
The handcuffs are tight
I’m still putting up a fight
I’ve been so bad; she’s so very mad
Parts of me are red
She’s taken over my bed
I’ve been a bad boy
Withholding her favourite toy
Tonight is my consequence
I’m enduring my penance
Through all the whips and collars
I can’t help but hollar

My Darkest Hour

It’s now been a few years
Since all the drama and the tears
I hated my life, wanted it to end
I almost went around the bend
I still remember the knife in my hand
Sharp and cold, a means to an end
I would’ve died that night I know
Except you found me, you stopped the flow
You stayed with me that day,
Knelt by my side to pray
I’ve now conquered my fears
I owe it all to you, my dear
You gave me love to devour
You saved me in my darkest hour

My Dad

I never really knew my dad
When I think about it now, it makes me sad
I never had someone to teach me certain things
Like how to meet girls, or go hunting
I blamed myself when I was young
Thinking all the time, I was a bad son
It’s only now I’m starting to realize
I wasn’t a son in his eyes
It wasn’t my fault, I know that now
He didn’t love me then, and still doesn’t now
So it’s time to forget,
The past I regret
I have a son of my own today
I tell him I love him, each and every day

The Game

I remember when I was young
Friday nights were so much fun
Since my dad first took me to the game
Friday nights were never the same
All the excitement and the cheer
And when in overtime, the fear
How the crowd went wild when a game was won
During my childhood, it was so much fun
Now I'm grown up, my dad is gone
I still think of him every time the game is on
How he raised me as his son
I admire him for what he's done
Now my own son is standing here
It's like I'm looking in a mirror

Waiting

My whole life I've been waiting
For a good job to come my way
Or maybe to finally have a best friend
For that special someone to turn up
It seems I'm on the outside looking in
To be able to see but not partake
For how much longer must I wait?
The days are lonely, the nights are worse
All around me I see people laughing
As if they all have shared a private joke
And all this time I'm thinking to myself
How much longer must I wait?

Friday Nights

Friday night, end of the week
Time to go out and move our feet
Just get on the dance floor and have some fun
We're all laughing when the night is done
There's a hot girl, she caught my eye
I ask her to dance, give me a try
We start moving to the beat
Dance so long, my legs are weak
We drink a lot, have a good time
A great song comes on, she starts to grind
I tell her I want her, I'll show her a good time
She leans in my ear and whispers, your mine
With that one word, I take her hand
We go to my her place in my van
We get up the stairs and to her door
We're hardly in before her pants hit the floor
I don't know how but we get to the bed
She pulls my jeans down, starts to give me head
It feels so good, I moan in delight
I tell her to slow down, we have all night
My hand finds its way to her clit
She's moaning now, having a fit
I feel her wetness, the time is here
She cries out as I enter her and nibble on her ear
We moving now, the end is in sight
First her then I, cry out in delight
Again she settles down on me, this time from behind
The skills this women has, man she blows my mind
After it's over, I can't get out of bed
There's not a clear thought left in my head
Man, that was such a delight!
God I love Friday nights!

You are My Everything

I can’t remember life before you
I couldn’t imagine life without you
You are my rock, you hold me down
Without you I’d be blown aroun'
You help me through my darkest fears
Always there to dry my tears
You are my one and only love
For you, I thank the Lord above
We've been together for many years
No matter how He tests me, I have no fears
Cause I have you, my love, to hold me dear
And we will be together, year by year

Missing You

We’ve been together for many years
There’s been laughs, there’s been tears
Lately it seems, we’ve been drifting apart
I think we should look deep into our heart
Because I know, deep inside
I still want you at my bedside
And I know you love me, despite my faults
We were made for each other, despite the results
So baby, please bring back the real you
Cause lately I’ve been missing you

Unemployed

I’m unemployed, I have no job
In recent weeks haven’t made a bob
I sit here all day, no work, no pay
I’ve looked everywhere, it feels
I have trouble paying for my meals
Why can’t I find work these days
Something good, with decent pay
The economy is so bad these days
I’ll do anything that pays
Out in stores while it’s bright
Surfing the internet at night
Hopefully I’ll find something soon
Or else I’ll be sleeping under the moon

Can't Wait To Leave

Oh this women, she bothers me so
Always bugging me to go
Go clean the floors, and the sink
God, she says, this house stinks
Never for one second, can I think
Damn its annoying, drives a man to drink
Why does she have to bother me so
Why can’t she just let it go
I can’t wait to get out of this place
Never again would I see her face

So Depressed

God I’m so depressed
I can’t take all this stress
No money, no job, no friends
I just want my life to end
I sit here day by day
My life is just wasting away
I think about it, there’s no doubt
All I do is sit here and pout
I take the knife, plunge it deep
My last thought, no one will weep

Passing Time

I’m lonely all the time
Just can’t get you off my mind
Why couldn’t you love me
I was yours to keep
I haven’t seen you for weeks and weeks
Just sitting here
missing you every day
Why did you leave, you never did say
I know I’ve lost you, it was made clear that day
I’ll still pray for you no matter what you say
One day I know, I’ll get you off my mind
It’s just a matter of passing time

It's A Hard Life

I live a hard life
I admit it, I cut myself with a knife
Struggling to survive day to day
To get by on this pitiful pay
Wishing one day to get out of this boat
As time goes by, starting to lose hope
Constantly thinking of bills to pay
Just trying to survive, day by day
I’m trying so hard not to lose hope
But it feels like there’s a hole in this boat
I’m slowly sinking, going down
Trying desperately not to drown

No More Shitty Weeks

The clouds are out
The day is bleak
What a fucking shitty week!
I lost my job
I have no friends
I just want this shit life to end!
I sit in my car, the hose at my feet
And feel myself drift off to sleep

Down at The Beach

God it beautiful down here
The waves lap against the shore
Makes me want to dive to the ocean floor
Just go, forget about my fear

Sand; warm, soft and white
A father and daughter flying a kite
I dig my toes through gentle sand
While playing with sea shells in my hand

God I love it down here
I just want to jump and cheer
Every summer I go
Just to hear the oceans flow

The Happy Dog

My dog looked at me today
As if he were trying to say
I want to go out, go out and play!

How simple these creatures of the ark
All they want is to go to the park
Just go out and enjoy the day
Come on master, let’s play!

The only one always by your side
Ok you ready master, I’m gonna hide!
I look down at this creature of god
And think to myself, that’s one happy dog!

My Girl’s Lovely Legs

Oh my look at those legs
Enough to make a man beg
Just want to run my hands up that lace
To explore her most precious place
To send shivers down her spine
As our bodies intertwine
She cries out my name
She’s definitely not in pain
Its coming, its here
I whisper my love in her ear

More Than A Kiss

One kiss, that’s all it takes
Her love is shown on her face
One kiss, full of grace
Reminds me of our first date
We met on a run, out in the sun
Remember sweetheart, we had so much fun
When it was over, there was a smile on your face
We ended up having coffee at my place
During that day, I felt only bliss
We said goodnight, it's our first kiss

Just a Kite

I stand here in dawn’s beautiful light
From my fingers flies a kite
I look up at the amazing blue sky
Way to great for my humble eyes
As I stand here flying my kite
I wish I could achieve such great heights

Friday Night, Home Alone

It’s Friday night, I’m home alone
No one’s even texting my phone
I think I’ve had to much to drink
I’m throwing up in the sink
Why do I care what anyone thinks
As I make myself another drink
The days are lonely, with my silent phone
It’s Friday night, and I’m all alone

Drowning in Sorrow

I AM DROWNING IN SORROW
I dread the day tomorrow
All alone, yet surrounded people
As I pray for strength in this steeple
I see families, friends and couples
Yet I feel like I’m in a bubble
After, I head to talk to the priest
He is with the others at the feast
It seems no one has time for me
So I make my exit, I flee
As I’m heading home I make a mistake
I stop at a bar to partake
I stay for one to many beers
But feel safe among the cheers
Afterwards I stumble out
A women in my arms, we’re making out
I finally find my goddamn keys
Get behind the wheel, a beer between my knees
The road is curvy, its so dark out
My lady makes a sound, in fact she shouts out
I ask her what is wrong, I wonder what she sees
I look away just briefly, never saw the trees

Rock Bottom

My alarm is blaring by my head
Just want to stay in bed
Don’t wanna face another day
What’s the point in getting up I say
I try to get up and feel like lead
Oh fuck! I might as well be dead
I take the needle off the tray
Shoot up to start another day
I feel the drug coarsing through my vain
Its magic takes away all the pain
I finally get up to face the show
What would I do without my blow

Chill

What’s wrong with people today
Everybody rushing and being late
Most don’t even have time
Breakfast just slips their mind
I myself will never be late
Will always have breakfast on my plate
When people ask me how I have time to kill
I’ll just reply, chill man, chill

Spring

The birds sing, nature’s beautiful music
 I sit here in bliss listening
On this beautiful spring day
The sun warms my back, not a cloud in sight
Everything is perfect, lost in the moment
On this beautiful spring day

Nature's Anger

Dark clouds hover ominously on the horizon
Threatening to steal the sun
Casting the earth into darkness
Pouring their rain down into the world
Like all evil is coming down from above
The rain comes, hard, pounding
People run for cover, ducking in doorways
Hurrying to their cars,
Trying to avoid the assault nature has thrust upon them