If Only People Knew

So tired, so very tired
It’s all so hard, to pretend
To look at, I’m happy
At work, people like me; I’m popular
I may smile and joke; it’s a mask
I hide behind it every day
If only they knew, last night I cut myself
What would people think; what would they say
To know there’s one among them; considering death
It would seem so unreal; they wouldn’t believe it first
Not someone like me, who’s always laughing, joking
I feel numb, not sadness, not depressed, nothing
Going through every day, empty, invalid
Life without emotions is not life; it’s nothing
There’s no reason to live anymore
I want to leave; tonight is my last train