Pondering This Thing Called "Love"

Sitting here by myself at the cafe
Pondering love, life and wealth
Wondering if it's all it's said to be
Maybe I can't love; maybe it's me
While there's a few dear to my heart
Loving seems to hurt more
Sometimes I just wonder what it's all about
To love someone so much
To long to feel their touch
Yet love is a dangerous thing
For all the pain it can bring
It's like a time bomb inside your heart
Ticking down; ready to tear you apart
To feel so strongly about a person
Yet if those feelings aren't returned
Is it really worth it; to take that leap of faith
To believe you'll never get hurt
That love is your fate
More cautious you have to be
For I reflect on what love's done to me
It's caused me lots of joy, but more hurt
Loving may be more trouble than it's worth
Unless the person loves you in the same way
I am just left without words to say
Thinking of them all day; caring to much
I know that's silly, yet it's as such
That's the deal with love
You can't control how much to give
How much to protect your heart
From not getting ripped out
Torn to pieces; I question this thing we call 'love'
Wondering if it matters at all
Or is it just in our heads
Sitting at this cafe
I ask myself this question all day

It's What I Do Best

Writing is what I do best
A good way to get all off my chest
For there's alot of pain in my life
My heart getting stabbed with a knife
Bleeding, these words drip on the page
Telling of my love; all my rage
Over not having enough people to love
Yet those I have, I truly love
They're not always there to talk
So my fingers get restless; go for a walk
Back and forth across this page
In my writing is all my rage
That I have to live this crappy day
I wish I believed, then I would pray
Yet writing is my only belief
The only way to bring me relief
Over all the tears that I cry
Everyday they flow; until I run dry
For I don't have a happy life
I can't imagine I'll have a wife
So I sit here and do what I do best
Put my heart on paper; get it off my chest
For that's all I really have in the end
Me, myself, my paper and pen

Need To Adapt

I am starting to think after all these years
I need to stop shedding these tears
To get used to being alone
To living in an empty home
For you can't truly rely on people to cheer
Although dying alone is my greatest fear
Yet I have learned from the past
Relationships for me; they just don't last
Although they start off strong
Always they seem to go wrong
Whether by my fault or their own
In the end, I'm still sitting at home
Wishing for these feelings to end
Praying for my heart to mend
Sometimes I think it's better this way
No love to give; it'll get better one day
For I will get used to no messages on my phone
I will live a happy life by myself; alone
It's not like I have a choice
There seems to be a warning in my voice
Saying to everyone that hears
Stay away from me; I'll only bring you tears
Yet I know that's not who I am; not what I want to be
It looks like this is my life; I have only me
So you see, I have a need, a need to adapt
For if there's one thing I know; I know that